But I'm not. I got home from an unexpectedly early day and suddenly felt inspired to paint two nightstands that have been waiting for months and months to be different colors. So I mixed the blue, purple and white that I happened to have, and wahlah!
My favorite director + my favorite musician + Heath Ledger + Johnny Depp + INCREDIBLE Production Design = Angela in cinematic heaven. No really. . .I thought I had been there before, but this is making my heart go pitter patter on so many levels.
I'm not gonna lie. . .today was excellent. Inspiration is flooding from so many directions that I haven't figured out how to balance all the creative energy. I know this though; Rilke's first letter keeps ringing in my head. He is talking directly about writing poetry of course, but it's applicable to anything, so I like to plug in whatever I most relate to at the time.
"Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple "I must," then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your whole life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse."I become more and more 'strong and simple' about my answer every single day.
This is random, but I wanted to post something today.
Looks like Pandora has shaken things up with the QuickMix feature so I had to go back in and re-select my regulars. This reminded me of a conversation my friend and I were having the other day about top 10's, so out of my own curiosity, I'm going to share the 30 musical dreams I never take out of the rotation. . .
Alexi Murdoch
Band of Horses
Bob Dylan
Bon Iver
Cat Power
CocoRosie
Counting Crows
David Gray
The Decemberists
Elliot Smith
Ingrid Michaelson
Iron & Wine
Joe Purdy
Jose Gonzalez
Josh Ritter
Joshua Radin
M. Ward
Matt Nathanson
Mirah
Neil Young
Pedro The Lion
Portishead
Ratatat
Ray Lamontagne
Rocky Votolato
Ryan Adams
The Shins
Sufjan Stevens
Tom Petty
Yael Naim
Wow. Who knew? I'm going to go ahead and say Joe Purdy was my most favorite new find of 2009. I continue to be delighted like I haven't been since oh, high school probably. His voice reminds me of the magic of youth, endless summers, serious crushes, Little Cottonwood Canyon, road trips and shooting stars. It makes my heart ache just thinking about it. In a good way.
Spring semester started on Monday, and whoa. I knew it would be busy, but this is intense. A LOT of drawing, which is great because I've wanted to re-develop that skill for years now, but a lot of drawing takes a lot of time. Anyone who thinks an art degree is easy has never pursued one. Despite the immediate overwhelm, I'm actually very excited for the next four months. In addition to drawing again, I'm learning VectorWorks which is pretty much the coolest program I've ever used. I think I might even enjoy drafting now, and that's somethin'. I'm also brushing up on my Set Design skills since its been a few years. Lighting Design is also on the list and I think if I can wrap my head around the technical aspects I'm going to LOVE it. Plus, what's more fascinating than light? Finally, I'm working on The Affair (new work by fellow student, Phil Smith) doing props and set dressing, which is exciting! There is NOTHING (in my opinion) like collaborating with fellow artists to create a production from a blank space. Its magical.
I also can't say enough good about the teachers in the U of U Theatre Department. I knew this of course, but back in the day I definitely didn't appreciate how brilliant they are. Furthermore, the entire department feels like one big family and I'm trying to soak that up as much as possible in the short time I'll be there. I'm not sure I ever want to leave. I love it. A master's might be on the horizon after all.
I'm a lucky girl. Between my family and friends, school and job, apartment and car (oh, Ned), and constant flow of inspiration and growth, I have everything I could want right now.
"I have no words to express what I feel about this subtle, ancient, sacred art -- the marvel of it, the wonder, the meaning."
- Robert Edmond Jones (The Dramatic Imagination)
"Metaphysics is the center of all experience. That man who does not live in awe of something outside himself is dead. The experience of drama is one of those moments in which a human being sits in awe, wonder, and admiration of something outside the self."
- William Ball (A Sense of Direction)
"I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being."
- Oscar Wilde
Months ago I posted about trying to find the perfect chair. Well, I have found her.
Behold the Antwerp. . .
I have a lot to say lately but can't seem to find the words. Fortunately for that, there is music. . .
Fall is fading into winter and its leaving me with that heater on, sweat shirt wearing, cold kitchen tile kind of being stuck in my own thoughts. Which is probably good. I've been mega distracted lately and rarely stop to notice.
If that paragraph didn't make any sense, see if this song helps. Its overflowing with my current mood. . .
I've probably posted this poem way too many times by now, but it hits the spot pretty often.
SELF PORTRAIT
It doesn't interest me if there is one God
or many gods.
I want to know if you belong or feel
abandoned.
If you know despair or can see it in others.
I want to know
if you are prepared to live in the world
with its harsh need
to change you. If you can look back
with firm eyes
saying this is where I stand. I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living
falling toward
the center of your longing. I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love
and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.
I have heard, in that fierce embrace, even
the gods speak of God.
-- David Whyte
from Fire in the Earth
©1992 Many Rivers Press
I think I've been resisting writing about this subject because truthfully, I don't want to change up my current routine even though I'm often frustrated by it. That said, I'm just going to put it all out there. . .
I'm going to go to bed by 11:00 every night and going to wake up by 7:00 every morning. The ultimate goal is 10pm and 6am, but we'll start with some flexibility.
Secondly, Ayurveda has been on my mind a lot lately. I really want to live an ayurvedic lifestyle and I've been good about getting it going, just not so great at keeping it going. That's a pretty typical pattern for me, so alas, its something to transform. Weekend brunch is my biggest weakness, and this weekend was no exception. Tonight I did pretty good though. I finally broke out the bok choy and arugula (my favorite) + figs and peaches and heirloom tomatos. Tasty.
Mondays call for strength training and some hip hop class I haven't yet been to. I think dancing is extra good for me though. I'm going back to Wednesday night yoga, which means homework must get done on Tuesdays, after classes and before zumba. Then on weekends there's about four different yoga classes I want to go to. PLUS, I think I'm just going to tough it up and ride my bike to school everyday. That's a whole lot of physical activity, but things tend to be all or nothing with me. And its about time. I think if I don't kick my own ass right now, winter is going to be extra hard.
Finally, I hereby swear to the blog world that within the next week the following will be complete:
-Etsy store(s) will be up and running again. There's no good excuse for them not to be except photographing items, and I happen to like photography. I guess I forget this when its logiscial projects.
-Finish setting up my iStock account.
-Jami's logo/website
-The last three photos for Nate's wall
-Memorize my lines for Long Day's Journey Into Night
-Set up Facebook page
-Make a second committment board
-Paint my chairs
-Watch Dracula
-See at least one play a week. This week it will be The Caretaker.
-Brush up on my Shakespeare. I'm starting with Titus Andronicus.
In the next few weeks. . .
-Paint my kitchen
-Register for The Art Weekend
-Attempt my salt flats film project
-Photo shoot with Erica and Turquoise Lovely
-Update my entire Flickr presence
Whew! That's probably good for now. There is so much I want to do and yet I often get caught in these ruts where I don't feel inspired, just surviving it. I think the trick for me is to just keep recreating over and over again. I suppose its silly to think possibility will survive over time on its own. I know better than that.
And for the sake of this post not being ALL boring writing. . .
I heart Edith Piaf : )
Add La Môme to the list.
And now its 11:20. This is how it happens!
I have two new loves. . .
1. Bored to Death. Why? Mostly because I'm not so secretly in love with Jason Schwartzman.
2. Community. Why? Is Joel McHale NOT the funniest man on earth? Oh, and I'm back in collge again so there's some relatability there I guess.
And speaking of love, I'm getting to be pretty sure this is how mine is gonna be. . .
{via LeLove}
xoxo
Anj
This is now my third year in theatre (combined) and the department is rockin' these days. I'm so proud to be there among such great teachers and students and productions. First and foremost, is the Bakkhai and it is a must see. Why? Because waking up early on a weekend to sit outside at Red Butte with coffee (or not with coffee) to experience a 2500 year old story done in a very creative way is rad to say the least. Secondly, it just about made me cry and not very many forms of entertainment do. Not even really sad movies. And I love to cry. Third, as far as gods go, it doesn't get much cooler than Dionysus. Just sayin'. . .
Something weird has happened to me in the last two weeks. I think for many years I was waiting for commitment and motivation to just happen to me and then always wondered what my problem was. So finally I just made a choice because I felt like it and suddenly the commitment came rushing in. That said, I'm going back to school to finish my design degree and I'm REALLY excited. This process I've busted through has been inspiring and has given me an opportunity to complete the past, and feel resolved about the "mistakes" I've made. Every time I think about it a favorite poem pops into my head : )
Ask Me
by William Stafford
Some time when the river is ice ask me
mistakes I have made. Ask me whether
what I have done is my life. Others
have come in their slow way into
my thought, and some have tried to help
or to hurt: ask me what difference
their strongest love or hate has made.
I will listen to what you say.
You and I can turn and look
at the silent river and wait. We know
the current is there, hidden; and there
are comings and goings from miles away
that hold the stillness exactly before us.
What the river says, that is what I say.
Wow. Okay. Here I am on Blogger again. Why you ask? Because I'm about to be a starving student again and Blogger is free. We'll see what happens though. I'm a little worried about the photography aspect of not having a real website.
Something weird has happened to me in the last two weeks. I think for many years I was waiting for commitment and motivation to just happen to me and then always wondered what my problem was. So finally I just made a choice because I felt like it and suddenly the commitment came rushing in. That said, I'm going back to school to finish my design degree and I'm REALLY excited. This process I've busted through has been inspiring and has given me an opportunity to complete the past, and feel resolved about the "mistakes" I've made. Every time I think about it a favorite poem pops into my head : )Ask Me
by William Stafford
Some time when the river is ice ask me
mistakes I have made. Ask me whether
what I have done is my life. Others
have come in their slow way into
my thought, and some have tried to help
or to hurt: ask me what difference
their strongest love or hate has made.
I will listen to what you say.
You and I can turn and look
at the silent river and wait. We know
the current is there, hidden; and there
are comings and goings from miles away
that hold the stillness exactly before us.
What the river says, that is what I say.
Well, there will be more later. . .so much catching up to do!
Aside from the obnoxious teenagers and way too many people, last night SLC got to enjoy Bon Iver and Jenny Lewis. It was a splendid time once we could breathe and see. I attempted to document the experience as best I could with my little PowerShot. . .
FFFFOUND! is quickly becoming one of my favorite blogs/websites because I'm guaranteed to see something that will either inspire me or that I'll get a kick out of. Plus, more pictures, less reading ; )
For example. . .
: )
XOXO
~A
I've been on blog hiatus the passed few weeks. Out of town, working a ton and there's been almost too much to process to write about anything. However, I just saw the preview for Away We Go, and its still tugging on my heart strings. John Krasinksi. . .life lessons. . .Alexi Murdoch. . .love. . .that freaking art work is epic. . .and Sam Mendes is possibly my favorite director of all time. Why have I not heard of this movie before now?
I think I have my 4th of July weekend cut out for me : )
I should be in bed considering I could barely open my eyes all day today. I was going to expand on what both of the following artistic endeavors are inspired by, but my computer is slow and I have another shoot in the morning.
So I'll just say this. . .
During one of my recent moves I found an old Care Bears coloring book. Either I'm a genius or a pack rat, cause its awesome and is going to function as a way to express my learned cynacism. Here is the first (it kinda sucks, or I'm just cynical). . .
On a more serious note, I'm in the process of uncovering my hidden commitments. It isn't pretty and I kind of wish I was already in the breakthrough stage, but alas, just being with it. . .
This weekend I had the pleasure of photographing a goddess. . .My favorite yogi and dear friend Jami Larson. We headed out around 7 AM on Sunday morning with coffee and croissants, and two hours later arrived in the dream land known as the Salt Flats. I contiuously kept thinking the salt was snow, even as we roasted in the sun. . .and we had a brief encounter with an adorable British hunk who had been on a motorcycle since Boston and was on his way to San Francisco. An angel maybe?? He told Jami she had a ladybird in her hair. It was magical. . .
My cute little sister just returned home from Southern Utah this past weekend and I couldn't help but post some photos. . .
{Emily + Charlie the baby goat & Draper the baby horse}
{who knew goats were this cute?}
{first meeting. . .obviously they're related}
{Avery!}
{Avery + Dad}
presh presh. . .
I love my family :- )
Now that the weather is amazing, I've been taking little walks and bike rides around my neighborhood in hopes for some inspiration. A few days ago I ended up at the Salt Lake Cemetery and inspiration was everywhere along the way. . .
{What is it about Airstreams?}
{I might consider going to church if its at a church this cute}
{one of the reasons I heart Salt Lake}
{grace}
{wisdom}
{beauty}
{I'm in awe by how much haunting reverence and beauty can exist in one place}
A quick update. . .
I'm getting my passport this week!!! And I have some new ideas for letting my travel junkie loose.
I got the bike out this weekend. . .she needs some love but I'm so excited to get riding! In a couple weeks I'm going to tackle the Legacy Parkway trail from Salt Lake to Farmington, do some birding, and take some photos.
The Commitment Seminar starts Thursday! Seeing as how I could use a dose of commitment, I'm pretty stoked.
Paul Van Dyk is coming to Salt Lake June 13th! The anticipation can't even be described.
Other than that, the weather has been amazing, even right now. . .its raining and smells like summer! I can't seem to get enough of hanging on the porch with beers and friends, walking around the Avenues, outdoor festivals, and daydreaming. Its going to be an epic summer. Now if I can only make it slow down a little bit. . .
Well, graduation is upon me. For real this time. Tomorrow marks what will be my very last math test ever (according current calculations anyway). I'm going to ace it and I'm pretty excited.
Between finals and planning a festival, the past two weeks have been intense so I'm looking forward to having accomplished a lot and having a sense of completion. There's big stuff down the road, but I haven't chosen anything specific yet, so the future is wide open. I can say this though: next week I'm taking off some days from work and its going to be an art party around the Single Shooter (aka my apartment). Photos specifically. I have a project for a friend that needs to get done and a few photo shoot ideas. Plus I think its time something different (not sure what) happens with my website. I might just transfer the url to blogger and go the free route. We'll see. Until then...here's to the calm after the storm!
I've got something to say. . .
Tom Waits just is, as a matter of fact and common sense, the best musician ever to grace us with his art. I was reminded of this while reading this interview. . ."an American living treasure." I couldn't agree more. For being my favorite musician of all time, I don't give him enough shout outs. So the music aside (cause there's just too much for one blog), this is why I'm such a fan. . .
Because who else announces a tour like this?
Who else is this random?
Who else can do Bukowski justice?
Glad we got that cleared up.
: )
This will be another random post because I'm pretty much just putting off writing my film paper. I keep forgetting that I actually love writing about films. And its becoming clear that I'm just sort of all over the place all the time, and that's okay. That said, there are a few random things I found inspiring this week. One is this amazing poem that I adore over and over again. . . Self-Portrait
It doesn't interest me if there is one God
Or many gods.
I want to know if you belong -- or feel abandoned;
If you know despair
Or can see it in others.
I want to know
If you are prepared to live in the world
With its harsh need to change you;
If you can look back with firm eyes
Saying "this is where I stand."
I want to know if you know how to melt
Into that fierce heat of living
Falling toward the center of your longing.
I want to know if you are willing
To live day by day
With the consequence of love
And the bitter unwanted passion
Of your sure defeat.
I have been told
In that fierce embrace
Even the gods
Speak of God.
-David Whyte
These triple and double exposure shots from golfpunkgirl are so perfect and so inspiring that there just aren't even words. . .just go look at all of them.
